It Just Took 8 Words!

Hello Everyone!!

If you've visited my Hairlista Page this summer you've seen my doomsday hot pink countdown. The countdown is literally counting down the days until I decide if I'm going to try "going natural" or if I am going to succumb to the "creamy crack." The countdown ends tomorrow. But I've made my decision today. But before I get to that, I have make something clear. Relaxers have been very good to me. Since I got my first relaxer when I was 8 years old I've never had a chemical burn, or breakage because of one. The only setbacks (breakage) that I have ever had were due to some overprocessed blond highlights (a la Beyonce), using the wrong/bad products, and just plain ol' laziness and neglect. So, the assumption that only women who have had bad relaxers go natural is totally false in my case.

By the way:

( INSERT RANT ------> I think that relaxers have a bad reputation, when really it's women who don't know what to do to their hair once they get it relaxed, so they either do EVERYTHING or NOTHING, and then they get breakage and blame the relaxer. What kind of sense does that make? Now the movement is, RELAXERS ARE THE DEVIL! No......ignorance is the devil. But until Black women learn how to properly take care of their hair, relaxers will get blamed for every broken hair that falls to the floor. It's kinda unfair when you think about it........ But I digress.........<------RANT OVER!!) LOL!!

I first started thinking about stretching my relaxer after my last one in March 2009. I've told this story many times on Hairlista, but since this was the breaking point for me to try to be self sufficient, I'll tell it again. I went to my stylist of 6+ years for a relaxer. I was sitting in her chair and I decided to ask her for some advice ( something I never did before.) Here is EXACTLY how the conversation went:

Me: "My hair is breaking. What should I do?"

The Stylist: "I don't know. My hair is breaking too."

THE END!!!!!

When I picked my jaw up off the floor, I kindly paid her, thanked her for her services, and vowed to myself that I would never darken her door again. That was 23 weeks ago. Her 8 word response is why I am 23 weeks post relaxer. Her 8 word response is why I took the time this summer to get to know my hair. Her 8 word response is the reason why I know exactly what my hair likes and doesn't like. Her 8 word response is what led me to realize that my natural hair is TOTALLY MANAGEABLE!!

I thank her for those 8 words. Without them, I would still be depending on someone else to do my hair (something I HATED!) This summer I've been experimenting with cowashing, twistouts, spiral sets, clips, and bunning. Anything to help me tame this hair. The more products I tried, the more styles I did, the more I realized that my natural hair has a personality. She can be temperamental and stubborn, but she can also be easy going and versatile. She's interesting and challenging. She's friendly and mysterious. She's high-maintenance and has expensive tastes. She's a lot like me. I like her. I'd like her to stick around so I can get to know her better.

Decision Made! I am officially transitioning to become 100% natural. I'm happy with this decision. I've also decided that I will be a LONG term transistioner. At least 2 1/2 years, maybe even longer. I want my natural hair to be at least and inch past shoulder length before I let go of all of my relaxed hair. So I'll only be cutting about an inch off my ends every 3-4 months or so. I'm happy with this decision also. It will feel more like a true "transition" this way. I'm not in favor of sacrificing my length (a la BIG CHOP), I've worked too hard for it. Letting the relaxed hair go, a little at a time will keep me sane, it will make me feel like I'm really not losing any length at all. I like that idea.

So everybody, that's my story. I'm thankful that I took 3 months to weigh the pros and cons before I decided. I'm also thankful that this decision is 100% my own. And lastly, I'm thankful for the emails and the posts, asking me "Girl have you decided yet?" "Girl, what's taking so dang long?" "Girl you know you're gonna have to change your Hairlista screen name if you go natural." ( my Hairlista screen name is Long&Relaxed, by the way.) LOL! Yep, I'm thankful for a lot.

Thanks for Reading!

-SouthernBella